2023 saw me have to deal with depression, anxiety and stress. As a result, I had  eczema so severe that it covered most of my face. That is not a great look  at the best of times, even more so, if like me, you perform on stage; are the centre of attention and well-lit (fortunately, not all comedy clubs adhere to the latter technical requirement).

The whys and wherefores of why I became so depressed are for another day. As for the eczema, I threw money at it. After waiting several months to see a dermatologist who told me I would just have to live with it, not the answer I was hoping for, I visited a local Chinese doctor. I underwent several months of acupuncture and had to drink a special tea twice a day which is the most foul-tasting concoction I have ever tasted, and I am a survivor of British school dinners in the 70s. After all, Chinese medicine goes back 3,000 years; you think they would have perfected the taste by now. It took about 3 months, definitely wasn’t cheap, but the eczema went away and has stayed away. I can’t vouch for every Chinese doctor out there of course, but this one definitely knew what he was doing. Including being able to help lift me up from the acupuncture table. He was a slight old man; I am a ‘robust’ middle-aged woman. All I can say is that he was deceptively strong.

However, dealing with anxiety, stress and depression is far more complicated. Moreover, if you are already feeling down, Christmas can exacerbate those feelings. If it’s any help, this is how I dealt with my negative feelings.

1. Hobbies
   I catastrophise brilliantly and can work myself into a state about a plethora of future scenarios which are unlikely ever to happen. Therefore, I need ways to try and stay in the present. I started knitting complicated patterns; it’s hard to think of anything else when you are continually counting stitches. I also started doing jigsaws. As with knitting, it forces you to stay in the present as you contemplate which is the next bit of sky from the 600 pieces of similar blue in front of you.
2. Seek Help
   I talked to a therapist. In the UK you can contact Talking Therapies which is a free service, but be advised there is a waiting list for their services.
3. Drugs
   Bear in mind this is coming from someone who is loath to take any drugs whatsoever. I don’t smoke, I hardly ever drink (unless Baileys is involved) and I’ve never taken recreational drugs in my life. In other words, if someone were to write a Kiss & Tell biography of me, they’d be lucky to have enough material to fill a paragraph.However, I was in such a state, my doctor prescribed anti-depressants. Assured they were low dosage and non-addictive, I decided to take them. I’d always been of the opinion that anti-depressants just masked the problem and didn’t solve the problems that were causing the depression in the first place. However, sometimes depression can evolve to become the main problem.That is because anxiety, stress and depression create a vicious circle: you can’t face life. Even the simplest of admin tasks seems insurmountable. You constantly put off things that you need to do which in turn exacerbates how terrible you feel. I would be awake all night which meant I slept all day and didn’t have to face my life. Luckily, I am in a job that facilitates that but it’s no way to live.Three days after my initial visit to the doctor, my anxiety and depression had skyrocketed due to external circumstances. I was back at the doctor’s. This time she prescribed me 3 days’ worth of Diazepam. it worked like a treat. You know things are bad when you are taking a tablet just to feel normal; not only that but the utter relief you experience at just feeling ‘normal’ again. Cannabis products from a weed delivery edmonton company may also help alleviate some of the symptoms of your anxiety or depression. If you have been given a prescription by a psychiatrist, you may be able to order the drugs here.
4. Talk to Friends
   I was worried about talking to friends; I feared there was only so much credit in the bank and I didn’t want to use it all up. However, talking to friends about your worries and concerns is a life-saver. You tend to have the same conversation on repeat. I know I did. Chatting to them would make me realise how nonsensical my fears were; I’d calm down and then as soon as I put the phone down, I’d go back to having the same fearful thoughts. Although your friends will no doubt find it frustrating, it does help to release some of the pressure building inside you.
5. Stay with someone
   When things got really bad, I stayed with a mate. It was a life-line. She made me shower, brush my hair, put on make up. Seriously, even the simplest of things can seem daunting when you are that depressed. She made me treat myself and bought me wool and a knitting pattern for me to keep myself busy by having a knitting project. She also listened to me. It’s so much easier to go down a wormhole if you’ are on your own: human company can be a real godsend
6. Behavioural Activation
   As I’ve mentioned, when you feel depressed and anxious, even the smallest of tasks can seem insurmountable. You put things off and that exacerbates how you feel, so you put more things off and if you are anything like me, you find yourself sleeping the day away and up all night, zombified, in front of the telly. Behavioural Activation is brilliant because it gets you to be more active in baby steps which in turn makes you feel better about yourself and you are more likely to do some of those tasks you were putting off, which in turn….. Well, you get the idea! I have also recently downloaded the apps Todoist and Move Mood to help me structure my day more efficiently.
7. Treat Yourself
   Resources permitting, treat yourself. I went for a massage and went blond! But even going for a simple walk might help do the trick. Years ago, when I was similarly depressed, someone suggested I go on a stand up comedy course, and the rest they say is history……..

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